Jessica's Jaded Journey Thru Breast Cancer Land
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Morning fun at hanford Adventist !!
It is 12:15 in the morning ! I an laying in my dirty hispitable bed waiting for something... Don't know what. I got an enenema and then the nurse though it would be a greatc idea. To have a physical therapy session while that was in in progress. Eanwhie PT guys come strolling in while. I am nakedz. Greatifdea!!!wow!!
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Shift Change : 7 am to 8:30 am
I'm not sure of course but I think this is when they refresh their lizard skins for a new round of 24 hour flesh. Ha ha. At least you would consider the notion after seeing for yourself how terribly important it is for them to be in attendance at the nursing station, at exactly 7 am; and the anticipation they clearly experience as the deadline approaches...
Dumb As Chickens
That was one of my truck driver father's favorite expressions to describe what could only be otherwise described as complete incompetence. He used it a lot when he went to a ( non-adventist) hospital; and my dear, I think I'm starting to understand exactly what he meant.
I don't think one day has gone by here that something wasn't dropped on the floor and then casually replaced for further use. Each time I had to say : " that goes into the laundry now" (or gets washed etc) .... EACH Time. There were more than a few times when the person furtively looked up to see if I had noticed before attempting to return it without replacing it with a clean item or Simply cleaning it . Every time I see this I feel like throwing up, wondering whether I'm going to get out of here without a staph infection. Well. I suppose I shouldn't worry about that because if I get a staph infection my chances of leaving at all are greatly reduced. As I've explained repeatedly to each nurse and nurse's aide on each shift; one infection can kill me in 24 Hours flat due to the lymphedema. Apparently that is of little or no concern to them; they are like little children who will not do their chores unless watched. Every step of the way. It's really hard to sleep here. The rule here as explained to me by the nurses is : "if you don't ask for it, you don't get it....
Due to the extended periods of time in bed with no Physical Therapy offered in the first two weeks or so, I became unable to get out of bed or support my own weight. This led to muscle weakness and now, after weeks of requesting, I now receive physical therapy. But the lower back pain of consistently being in bed, taking. Morephine for the pain caused by the lymphedema, which is not covered for treatment by medi-cal and which causes all sorts of extremely painful havoc on my body, I have no choice but to take heavy doses of morphine 24/7 in order to endure the pain. More than 2500 MGM per day. It's a wonder I can even think straight much less sit up. All the morphine has resulted in bowel impaction, which is largely ignored; I've had ONE bowel movement in the three weeks I've been here. So I guess I could die of that at any moment.
Oh Ya, and, Is there a Polite Way to ask your nurse if she can hand you your clean water glass WITHOUT her finger and fake fingernail holding it about 4-5 inches down the inside of the plastic drinking glass? Ugh.
My assigned nurse just flounced in ( Monica) announced it was time for my PRN medicine ( quick release morphine ) handed it to me in a little paper cup then flounces on out after changing the chalkboard which details when the next medicine us due. I usually have to pointedly tell them to change the board; for some reason they resist doing that task, even though there is a space on the board which is clearly set aside and on which is permanently printed " Next Pain Medication Time" ... Below that is printed " Pain Management Is OUR Goal! "
Staff only recently began changing the boxes each day which detail who the Physician, Nurse, and CNA are each day. Before this "constantly requested but largely ignored" request, I had to ask each and every shift.
Right now I'm sitting in front of a breakfast tray on the side of the bed. My rear end is mostly asleep from laying in the same position for hours during the night. I can't move my legs or feet unassisted, at all. The nurses aide forgot to replace the oxygen tube at 3 am or so, after I requested some soapy water and wash rags in order to clean up a bit before finally sleeping. That resulted in an oxygen level of about 70% by 6 am, at which time I was sternly advised by the nurse to " remember to replace the oxygen tube" .... I asked for a clean tube ( part that goes in nose often falls o floor) which made the nurses very unhappy because they had to go fetch it.
I don't think one day has gone by here that something wasn't dropped on the floor and then casually replaced for further use. Each time I had to say : " that goes into the laundry now" (or gets washed etc) .... EACH Time. There were more than a few times when the person furtively looked up to see if I had noticed before attempting to return it without replacing it with a clean item or Simply cleaning it . Every time I see this I feel like throwing up, wondering whether I'm going to get out of here without a staph infection. Well. I suppose I shouldn't worry about that because if I get a staph infection my chances of leaving at all are greatly reduced. As I've explained repeatedly to each nurse and nurse's aide on each shift; one infection can kill me in 24 Hours flat due to the lymphedema. Apparently that is of little or no concern to them; they are like little children who will not do their chores unless watched. Every step of the way. It's really hard to sleep here. The rule here as explained to me by the nurses is : "if you don't ask for it, you don't get it....
Due to the extended periods of time in bed with no Physical Therapy offered in the first two weeks or so, I became unable to get out of bed or support my own weight. This led to muscle weakness and now, after weeks of requesting, I now receive physical therapy. But the lower back pain of consistently being in bed, taking. Morephine for the pain caused by the lymphedema, which is not covered for treatment by medi-cal and which causes all sorts of extremely painful havoc on my body, I have no choice but to take heavy doses of morphine 24/7 in order to endure the pain. More than 2500 MGM per day. It's a wonder I can even think straight much less sit up. All the morphine has resulted in bowel impaction, which is largely ignored; I've had ONE bowel movement in the three weeks I've been here. So I guess I could die of that at any moment.
Oh Ya, and, Is there a Polite Way to ask your nurse if she can hand you your clean water glass WITHOUT her finger and fake fingernail holding it about 4-5 inches down the inside of the plastic drinking glass? Ugh.
My assigned nurse just flounced in ( Monica) announced it was time for my PRN medicine ( quick release morphine ) handed it to me in a little paper cup then flounces on out after changing the chalkboard which details when the next medicine us due. I usually have to pointedly tell them to change the board; for some reason they resist doing that task, even though there is a space on the board which is clearly set aside and on which is permanently printed " Next Pain Medication Time" ... Below that is printed " Pain Management Is OUR Goal! "
Staff only recently began changing the boxes each day which detail who the Physician, Nurse, and CNA are each day. Before this "constantly requested but largely ignored" request, I had to ask each and every shift.
Right now I'm sitting in front of a breakfast tray on the side of the bed. My rear end is mostly asleep from laying in the same position for hours during the night. I can't move my legs or feet unassisted, at all. The nurses aide forgot to replace the oxygen tube at 3 am or so, after I requested some soapy water and wash rags in order to clean up a bit before finally sleeping. That resulted in an oxygen level of about 70% by 6 am, at which time I was sternly advised by the nurse to " remember to replace the oxygen tube" .... I asked for a clean tube ( part that goes in nose often falls o floor) which made the nurses very unhappy because they had to go fetch it.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Waiting for the pain to subside
I need a hand to hold tonight; I'm in a lot of pain and extreme discomfort. My chest area, on the side that covers my heart, looks like it is developing a hard, itchy, crusty looking scab over the skin that was previously bright red, raw, spreading. The open wound near my underarm thru which the implant escaped, is now about half the size, but not looking any better as far as I can see. But it's not looking worse so that must be good. What I really need besides a real person to tell me it will be all right, are some good videos to fill all this time spent waiting for the pain to subside .
I haven't looked at myself in the mirror for at least a month , which is good since my hair has not been washed for at least that long either. I don't bother with picking out a pair of earrings to match what I'm wearing or decide what shoes I"ll wear that day.
I haven't looked at myself in the mirror for at least a month , which is good since my hair has not been washed for at least that long either. I don't bother with picking out a pair of earrings to match what I'm wearing or decide what shoes I"ll wear that day.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Rehabilitation/Residential Care
With any luck at all I will be admitted to a residential care facility where full time residential treatment will be available to me; and where I will be able to continue protocol that is healing instead of life threatening. Hopefully that will take place early this week, on Monday or Tuesdsy.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Adventist Hospital i
I am currently in an Adventist Hospital in Caliifornia; been here for about 3 weeks now. The lymphedema went wildly out of control back on November after I contracted a bronchial infection from a room mate. My chest had filled with fluid and a plural effusion occurred .. My left lung completely collapsed. I had the collapsed lung for about 2 months until I finally went to the ER in Eureka, which I wrote about in a previous post.
In Eureka I got sicker by the day until a long time friend (43 years) came up to get me and literally carried me, with the help of a walker and other strong physical assistance, into her house after a 500 mile drive; then a week later, to the local Adventist Emergency room ... Where it was discovered that I had been living with a completely collapsed lung for about 2 months.
The lymph fluid was drained off with a tube through the chest; about 10 pounds the first day. I was relieved to get that fluid out. But in truth I don't feel any better about western medicine.
I have been here for about 3 weeks now and am, for the most part, very poorly treated. I don't know if its because I don't have private insurance or because I am forthright about preferring alternative treatment. My stay here has been subdtantially miserable and there have been a number of occasions that were outright life threatening. Such as the double dose of morphine I was given one evening along with 5 other "pain killing" narcotics within a six hour period. (I will post a list of those later.) After I caught the "mistake" and made an "unofficial" complaint, many of the nursing staff decided I needed to be treated evrn worse Since then, lids had been pretty tough here. I'm praying hoping praying again that I get out of here ASAP.
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