The real reason this Land Lord is harassing me is because I insisted she repair the electrical failures and house heater, and, because she does not approve of the color of my son's skin. There, I said it. She is out of her mind incensed over the dark-skinned son factor. I'm starting to wonder if I'll wake up to burning crosses on the front lawn next. There are some things in this life that have to be seen to be believed. Yes, there are still pale-skinned people in America who will have a complete meltdown at the thought of a dark-skinned person anywhere in their environment. They claim they have justifiable reasons for their hatred and paranoia. It's all horseshit of course. They just like to swing their weight around and be "above" someone. Unfortunately those who belong to 'the club of constant horseshit', are also infatuated with creating drama. That's why I wonder what to expect next. It's been made very clear to me by the land lord herself that her intent is to punish or hurt me for having the audacity to stand up to her. According to her, I have no rights.
is this where things are headed for those with no power .. No rights?
A while back I became fascinated by the history of Nazi Germany. How did non-Jewish people look the other way while their neighbors were deprived of all human dignity?? Something very similar is taking place in America today. We look the other way, and don't want to be associated with the growing unwashed underclass. What happens to them, will of course not happen, to us, and anyway, they deserve it, after all, isn't that what we believe?
My teamster union Dad used to say " Might equals Right". Then he'd laugh. I wish my father were here today, but I've wished that 500 times since Brad died. If my father had been alive, none of this would ever have happened. He would've came to Los Angeles immediately and intervened for Brad and I, not politely. Having very little family is a huge detriment. Now I am ill, and people mostly look right through me. It doesn't matter what happens to me, and common courtesy is not a requirement either.
Sometimes people ask me if I'm afraid to die, and I think, are you kidding me? What strikes fear in me is the possibility that reincarnation could be true. No I'm not afraid to die, and I'm also not planning on coming back and you can bet on that.
Cancer is in essence the big wake up call. It's saying: you are carrying too much pain and too much grief, it's stored in every cell of your body. You have to release the false self or just plain die, you have to choose one type of death or the other. The false self has to go, and with it, all the stored grief.
In honor of releasing my false self, the one I depended on to stay safe or accepted, I choose to no longer "keep my mouth shut" ..an advice I've heard repeatedly since childhood. I'm not good at it anyway.
3 am or so: I'm telling myself, be calm, don't let this get to you, but here I am wide awake and sick to my stomach. I rarely get a virus or other passing illnesses so it's rare that I'm throwing up. But tonight, the first night in my life to be in a house with no running water, I'm throwing up, and thinking oh crap, I'll have to use the premium quality water that's delivered in 3 gallon jugs to flush the damn toilet. What a life.
I feel under attack, and overwhelmed with the necessity of proving why I don't "deserve" to be thrown out into the street. Innocence until guilt is proven is not automatic with eviction, looks to me like the reverse is true. Simply put, this land lord was not willing to rent to me without my daughter because she knew she would no longer get away with the "my husband will fix it when he gets back" routine. On top of that, I believe she is most likely a racist, which does help to explain her out of control, emotional behavior. What land lord in their right legal mind would deliberately ensure that a tenant could not get water service when it is clearly an illegal act they are then liable for? Is there an actual reason she couldn't allow me more than 30 days to find a suitable new rental? Well what the heck could that be?
This property has been taken care of and her rent has been paid on time. I think her ONLY reason is that I stood up to her by insisting she make the repairs, and by telling her that my grown children's family disputes are not her business, and in addition, that she may not walk into the house "anytime she feels like it." She was pissed, pure and simple. The fact that she instructed the city water clerk to deny me service when I tried to transfer it into my name illustrates her intentions loud and clear.
Maybe I'm beginning to understand why there are so many people living in the woods in makeshift shelters. Could it be that they're not willing to spend their last low-hourly-wage dime on renting some slum lords shanty rental facility for a period of 30 days at a time, which might or might not be renewed for another 30 days, on the first of each month?? Holy shit. what a life. Like living in a shanty motel by the railroad tracks. You might be there next month, if you don't piss off the land lord. You might not be, if you do. That's some gun to live under.
There should be no such thing as a "month-to-month" rental, unless it is a vacation house or a motel. Who can live a normal life like that? Ridiculous. And obvious in whose hands it places more power.
There are very few leases offered for rentals in Humboldt County based on what I've seen advertised.. month to month on mostly substandard dwellings. I can understand why they don't want a lease; a lease provides a measure of security and enforces tenants rights, and that's not desirable to the Land Lords, who want to be able to give you the boot at any time for any reason; they want the tenant to be under constant duress not to do anything that might piss them off. It's called, the upper hand.
Wednesday: Finally got the water transferred into my name. The water department says they "have 24 hrs to turn it on" so that's tomorrow, which will be two full days without water service. I told the clerk that if she wants to do the land lord a favor, they could turn it on today and save her 100.00 for the second day. (I'm learning about frame of reference, they care about the land lord) Yesterday the clerk had been adamantly snotty about supporting the wishes of the land lord; that changed after an attorney from the local legal aid called her to advise. After the attorney phone call, I was allowed service. Which proves once again, no attorney, no rights.
I wonder, what it would be like, to live somewhere in which it was normal for the majority of people to voluntarily respect and upheld the community and governmental laws. (?) That's not something I've seen in my lifetime so far. What I've seen is that lying, cheating and constant theft is the norm. along with a few other bad-vibe things, like promiscuity, infidelity, perversion and exploitation. Ya. America is a lot of fun. In great shape.
I'm exhausted. Stress causes acidosis, which causes my left arm to swell dangerously. The swelling and density of the lymph fluid causes fatigue because the lymph fluid has to be pumped through the heart. This water debacle took up two days of my precious time.
I'm not in a very good mood so I'll just go ahead and express here that when the poor, working class and disenfranchised citizens of America rise up and take to the streets burning everything in their path, I'll be at home in front of the TV with some organic popcorn, laughing. (Failing that, I'll be in front of a campfire roasting marshmallows, laughing.) Either way, there will be a smile on my face. The elites have run this country into the ground. Change is inevitable.
The growing American underclasses need to 'Just Say No' to all those crappy mind-altering prescription drugs they are constantly provided (for free, step right up, it will make you feel better) and really think, think about what the phrase "We The People" actually means, in reality, in our everyday world.
This is OUR country. This is OUR land.
