Friday, June 22, 2012

Screw the Tests

 I dislike going to hospitals and most clinics are a good place to immediately interact with bad germs, especially the "Low Cost" facilities. They're not always clean and the personnel mostly have an "us and you" look on their faces. But they might have something that could be useful to me, like medical tests. So I've decided to apply for the state run Medi-cal program which I'm sure I qualify for, and see if I can get some tests, hopefully without the drama. I feel unconvinced that a medi-cal patient would get anything except the cheapest least effective whatever. But it would be nice to have some tests done. So Im going to give it a try.

Last time I went to a western Doctor was in 2009, 3 years ago. It was an unsettling, irritating, boundary-violating experience. They acted like I was going to drop any damn minute and should be rushed to the surgeon and oncologist. The funny thing was that after the Doctor called and wrote to me, repeatedly, trying to convince me to come back (I'm a good leaver, not a good come-backer) I saw in my medical records later that the surgeon I was being pressured to make an appointment with would not accept any new medi-cal patients. So even if I had decided to go with the immediate biopsy then surgery plan, there wasn't a surgeon in the area who was willing to accept the cheaper medi-cal payment.

hey I know we all have to make a living but isn't there something creepy about a person becoming a doctor so that they can make lots of money? Not that lots of money is a bad thing all by itself, but can a person be a true healer who has those motivations?
I don't think so.

July 14, 2012

Changed my mind. (woman's perogative thats what they say) No Western style Doctors for me. Screw the tests. They don't have anything to treat me with that I want, and I don't trust their interpretation of their tests.

Watching Brad suffer through his AMA cancer "treatments" has altered the way I view American hospitals permanently. I won't go near one for any sort of treatment unless there is no other choice, as in a car accident and I'm unconscious. Dying may not be optional but that kind of suffering is.

Brad's suffering is over now but it's never completely over for me. The treatments he received for throat cancer were barbaric, the care he received was minimal and inadequate. Those two things together insured his death from day one. It was an agonizing process that took about 18 months.

People sometimes say "well at least he's not suffering anymore." I don't say or think that because I know he didn't need to suffer in the first place. I wasn't relieved that the ordeal was over and I didn't believe his death was inevitable. I knew he didn't have to suffer like he did, and I knew he could have been healed.

Death factories. That's what our hospitals have become.

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